Funny Captions For Instagram

I follow the quote, "Always be true to yourself" because I only lie to others... ??

Bitch is just a term used for girl who refuses dog's proposal. ?

At least mosquito's are attracted to me.??

I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough?

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!!?

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!?

The most powerful word is your salary is credited, except I love you??

Mosquitoes are like our family. They annoying but carry your blood.??

Engagement rings, ?wedding rings, and suffering are the three rings of a marriage.??

Perfect boyfriend : The ideal guy doesn't smoke, drink, or cheat, and he also doesn't exist.?

A woman's mood may be altered by two things: 1) I love you, and 2) a 50% discount.

I'm want to marry the lady who has a looks gorgeous in her Aadhar card.

I am a completely free-loading date; I don't pay for anything.?

I've started a whisky diet. I've already lost three days.?

Some people have relationships and some people have Patiala.???

What i if told you...you the read first line wrong... same with the second... :p

What do girls want? EVERYTHING!!!

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.??

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either??

There are around 7 billion humans in the planet, and nobody is interested in dating me.... I hate this planet....huh

Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

One should be in love all the time. This reason, one should never marry.

My love is my six pack, So i protect them with the layer of fat?

Pick the lock if you can't find the key to your achievement.

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.?

Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say??

Nothing is illegal until you get caught?

Today morning when I was driving my Rolls-Royce, the alarm woke me up.?

Gravity always gets me down. ??

I like my neighbor so much, until they secure Wi-Fi by password??

If you want to cry, use a tissue... not your status...!!?

What i if told you...you the read first line wrong... same with the second... :p