Funny Captions For Instagram

My family says me that i am talking in my sleep at night: i dont believe, because No one from my office told me. Lol 😂😆

When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left ten million dollars in the...😂😝

I must return to work today because millions of people on welfare rely on me.😉😂

Laugh alone, otherwise the world thinks you're an idiot.😂

One should be in love all the time. This reason, one should never marry.

Please GOD if you can't make me slim, make my friends fat.😜😂

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.😝

I Like to study.. Arithmetic - NO ... world history - NO .... chemistry - NO .... GIRLS - YES!!!😜😜

Engagement rings, 💍wedding rings, and suffering are the three rings of a marriage.😉😜

Perfect boyfriend : The ideal guy doesn't smoke, drink, or cheat, and he also doesn't exist.😜

A woman's mood may be altered by two things: 1) I love you, and 2) a 50% discount.

I'm want to marry the lady who has a looks gorgeous in her Aadhar card.

I am a completely free-loading date; I don't pay for anything.😜

I've started a whisky diet. I've already lost three days.😅

Some people have relationships and some people have Patiala.🥃🍷🍾

What i if told you...you the read first line wrong... same with the second... :p

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.😁😂

What do girls want? EVERYTHING!!!

There are around 7 billion humans in the planet, and nobody is interested in dating me.... I hate this planet....huh

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either😂😆

Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

One should be in love all the time. This reason, one should never marry.

Pick the lock if you can't find the key to your achievement.

My love is my six pack, So i protect them with the layer of fat😆

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.🤣

Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say😂😜

Nothing is illegal until you get caught😜

Today morning when I was driving my Rolls-Royce, the alarm woke me up.😝

Gravity always gets me down. 😉😂

I like my neighbor so much, until they secure Wi-Fi by password😏😆

If you want to cry, use a tissue... not your status...!!😂

What i if told you...you the read first line wrong... same with the second... :p